Almost a Year

It's been almost a year now, Mom. And really, I can't say it's getting any easier. I look at pictures of you all the time since I scanned so many of them into this computer while the flurry of activity was in full swing in the days and weeks following your death. Betty Ford died today. There was a lot about her that reminds me of you. She was every inch the lady but at the same time, when the white gloves needed to come off, and blunt talk was the order of the day, that's what we got. I love that quality in people. I can still look over to my left and see your sewing machine sitting on the table. I don't want to move it. It feels like the inanimate object that somehow contains the most essence of your soul -- yeah I know that sounds weird.

I guess it's like the Velveteen Rabbit in a way. It spent so much time in the company of the owner that something of the essence of that owner becomes part of it. I remember how much you wanted to get Meghan the book "The Velveteen Rabbit" when she was little (and you did- I see it clearly in my Mind's Eye right now). It was one of those things you seemed to take an almost over-natural interest in . . .although with that book I undersood the reason. The Wind In The Willows and The Yearling not quite so much. I tried, though! I really did! I would never read The Scarlet Pimpernel and thank God that was the book you tended to harp on oops I mean remind Jeff to read all the time. It's Jeff's birthday today. I always remember it, but don't call or send a card or anything. He doesn't call or send me cards on my birthday, either.

I've learned how to manipulate imagery pretty well lately, so ah couuullld make some rilly fancy artistic photographs to put all up in this here blog maybe later.

Should I post silly pictures yet? I don't want to get yelled at again! We'll see.